Makeikusa
by BlackWingedAngel-Lucifer
Summary: Yuki is neglecting Shuuichi more than usual. Shuuichi becomes depressed. Things take an unexpected twist and an unusual pairing takes place.
1. Lonely

**Gravitation **

**Title:** **Makeikusa (Lost Cause)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation no matter how much I want to 3 **

**Chapter 1: Kodoku (Lonely) **

Shuuichi's POV

It's already been a year and a half since Yuki has agreed to let me live with him. He doesn't kick me out as often as he use to but when he does, he knows where to find me. He goes to Hiro's place to bring me back if I take longer then usual. I guess it's because he's worried that I might leave him and he doesn't want me to, which shows that he loves me even though he doesn't say it. The past few days he's been unusually nice. Don't get me wrong, I like it and all but it's kind of scary. Yuki's finally opening up to me, yay!

However, it didn't last too long. He was being nice to me and then all of a sudden, he started acting like his old self but worse if possible. He's colder, gets annoyed easily, ignores me more than usual, and he gets home so late. When he gets home, he goes right to bed and if not, he goes into his study to finish his book. Yuki only acts this way when he's stressed out about meeting a deadline but this time it's different. When he gets home he smells like sake and cigarettes. I hardly get to spend anymore time with him and each time I ask him, he says he's busy or too tired and doesn't want to. Even when he's not busy, he says he wants to sleep but then leaves to go somewhere else. I hate when he starts ignoring me like this. I wonder what came over him so suddenly, it's worrying me.

I can't go to Hiro because ever since Ayaka-chan agreed to go out with him, he's been so busy and caught up in his own life. Hiro doesn't realize when I'm sad or that I haven't been as much a cry baby as I used to be. I'm happy for Hiro that he got a girlfriend but it's kind of lonely without having my best friend to talk to. I have no one to talk to other then Hiro. Sure, there's K-san, Sakano-san, and Fujisaki-kun, but there not that close to me as Hiro was. Ever since Yuki decided to let me stay with him, Tohma-san has been much nicer and we've been on friendlier terms. Tohma-san is probably the only one left for me to talk to since he and Yuki knew eachother for a long time and now we're closer as well. But then again, it kind of frightens me to talk to Tohma-san about Yuki because if something happens to Yuki he won't forgive me and then I won't know what to do.

Yuki's POV

That damn brat just won't leave me alone. He complains and cries endlessly no matter what I do. When I try to make him happy he cries more than when I'm being mean to him. I can't stand it. I need a break from him. I've been going out more and staying out later just to try and avoid him. I don't have a deadline, but I'm writing this book that I really want to finish and get published next to see how fast it'll sell out and what my fans will think of it. I don't want Shuuichi to know about it among some other things, but if he doesn't learn to give me the space that I need, he might stumble upon something I don't want him to know. Maybe I'm being meaner than usual but it's not like he will realize it.

Shuuichi's POV Again

I try my best to stay up as late as possible waiting for Yuki to get home so we can at least eat together, but I can't stay up too late because I have work the next morning. I wish Yuki would at least wake me up when he gets home to let me know that he's there, but Yuki isn't like that. The last thing he'd want to do is let me know he's home, worried that I would start annoying him.

Then one day he came home early and probably didn't expect to see me home so early because of the expression on his face. "YUUUUKIIIII!glomps Yuki I got out of work early today because K-san never showed up and Tohma-san let us go home early so I decided to be here in case you got home early too. Isn't it great? We got the whole day to ourselves." "I'm busy so don't bother me." Yuki said to me angrily without even looking at me. Mumbling under his breath, I could hear him say, "I'm going to kill Tohma for this." and walked to the study slamming the door behind him. What's wrong with him? Why is Yuki acting like this to me?

Later that day, I peeped into the study to see if he was still awake. "Yuki? You awake?" I whispered. No answer. So I went in and found him sitting at the desk typing on his laptop. "Yuki! I didn't know you had another deadline to meet." Upon seeing him typing, I felt relieved that he was only pushing me away because he needed to meet a deadline. But I was wrong. "I don't have another deadline. Why are you in here? You know not to bother me when I'm in here." Yuki yelled at me. I tried to pretend like it didn't bother me, but it did. "I just wanted to see if you were awake." "If you want to know if I'm hungry, I'm not. I'm busy, now go away." Yuki told me, getting angrier. "If you don't have a deadline coming up, why are you in here all the time typing away? I just wanted to spend some time with you! We haven't spent any time together for so long." I said, the tears now threatening to come from my eyes. Even though I wasn't crying yet you could tell that Yuki's coldness was bothering me. I think he noticed, he had to. Yuki didn't seem to care though since he hadn't said anything about it or try to cheer me up or even saying sorry.

Yuki's coldness is nothing new to me. It's just that he's colder now. Is he hiding something from me?If he is, what is it? Now, I'm just standing behind him, quietly thinking to myself, waiting for an answer. He's probbly okay with me staying in here since he still hasn't kicked me out yet. If he doesn't answer me, I can probably risk asking Tohma-san. After all, he might know something and if not, he's the only one who's able to get something out of anyone especially Yuki. "Why are you still here?" Yuki's icy cold voice startled me out of my thoughts. If he's going to refuse to answer me, it probably does mean he's hiding something and has a reason why he doesn't want me know. "Yuki, I'm worried about you. Please! Tell me why you're acting this way towards ME all of a sudden." I asked again another question I know I won't receive an answer to, as I put my hands on Yuki's shoulders. He must be pissed at me for something because of the expression on his face. He unexpectedly and probably not purposely, elbowed me in the stomach. I fell back and coughed up blood. Knowing him and his cold personality, it could've possibly been done on purpose more than an accident. I looked up at him, tears stinging the edge of my eyes, threatening to roll down my cheeks. This time I couldn't hold them back and I began to cry. I clenched my heart since it was in more pain due to mental pain. The physical pain from my stomach didn't hurt me as much. I cried a painful cry, not my usual cry baby cry. No, it was serious this time. It was clearly visible how much he had hurt me this time.

"Shuuichi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you." Yuki said, offering a hand to help me up. I sat there and stared at him with a frightened look in my eyes. "Don't give me that crap! You don't give a damn about me. You never did and probably never will. You always say you're sorry, but you never mean it. You're probably thinking ' I finally gave that damn annoying brat what he deserved.' If I'm that annoying, you should've told me and kicked me out instead of waiting until I got serious. Why don't you just tell me you that you hate me!" I couldn't look at him. I turned my face away from him. "I know you're hiding something from me. You don't...Tell me anything... Anymore. What did... I do to deserve... This?" I whispered in chocked sobs. Yuki got on the floor and moved closer to try and put his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me. I slapped his hands away without hesitation. "Leave me alone! I don't want to take this from you anymore. One minute you're nice, the next you're so cold. It's all phony." I knew that this was just an act. I'm not going to let him take advantage of me any longer. If I leave, he'll be happier and I'll probably be happier if I find someone who can treat me better.

With that being the last thing said, I ran to my room and locked the door. Over night I tried to be as quiet as possible. I packed all of my belongings into as little bags as possible so that I wont have to carry that much. For most of the night, Yuki has been banging on the door telling me to open it. But I was too afraid to open the door and let him in, so I didn't. The next morning, I left early so that Yuki wouldn't be awake and I could get out without having to face him. After I got out of the house avoiding Yuki, I went to Hiro's place. "Hiro, could you let me stay for a few days? Just until I find my own place. Please?" "Sure. But why are you looking for you're own place? If Yuki kicked you out again, he's going to come for you eventually." Hiro asked. "This time is different. I left him. If he does come here to find me, could you tell him I'm not here and you don't know where I live?" I asked him merely above a whisper. In a shocked voice, Hiro told me, "I can't believe you're finally going to give up on him. I guess you finally realize you deserve better. You can count on me anytime."

Yuki's POV

The morning after the brat locked himself in his room, I went to check on him to see if he was feeling better and if we could talk. But when I went to his room, the door was opened, revealing an empty room. Shuuichi and all of his things were gone. The first thing I tried to do was call his cell phone. No answer, it just kept ringing. It was clear that he didn't want to speak to me. I thought it was better this way. I wouldn't have to put up with the crying and screaming anymore. Eventually he would come home on his own. But I was wrong. days, no weeks went by, and he hasn't called or come to stop by even once. So, I decided to call Tohma to see if Shuuichi was there. Tohma told me that Shuuichi nor Hiro hasn't been to work for the past two weeks. From that, I knew that Shuuichi was staying at Hiro's. I went to his house and demanded to see that damn brat. He told me he wasn't there but I didn't believe him. So, I went in his house but Shuuichi really wasn't at his place. "Where is he?" I demanded. "I don't know. I haven't spoken to him for awhile ever since he stopped showing up to work for the past two weeks."

A few days after that, Tohma called me and asked me if I knew what happened to Shuuichi or if I knew where he was. Of course I don't know where he is. No one does. That damn brat, making everyone worry. I can't believe he just left without a word to anyone. The last thing he said was to me. He also left a note for me saying not to follow him. He's starting to worry me. Later on in the day, Tohma stopped by to tell me that Shuuichi quit the band and he wanted to know why he was doing this all of a sudden. Tohma wanted to know exactly what happened between us. I told him it wasn't that big a deal and that I was happy now that he's gone and out of my life. But then Tohma said it is a big deal if he disappeared and quit the band. It didn't matter to me so I tried to avoid the topic.


	2. Despair

**Gravitation **

**Title: Makeikusa (Lost Cause)**

**Chapter 2: Despair (Zetsubo)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation no matter how much I love it **

Normal POV

Six months later,and still no one knows Shuuichi's whereabouts. When he quit Bad Luck, they disbanded because Fujisaki and Hiro refused to work with a singer other than Shuuichi. Nittle Grasper also disbanded because Ryuuichi was upset about what was going on and said he's not going to sing unless Shuuichi comes back and rejoins Bad Luck. All of their fans don't know why they disbanded because Tohma kept the media quiet about Shuuichi's disappearance.

Shuuichi had moved into an apartment building, close to where Yuki lives so he had to be careful to not let anyone see him especially Yuki.It wasn't that difficult, a simple disguise such as a hat and glasses worked pretty well. But the only time he left his house was when he needed to go shopping or pay some bills. Shuuichi was too depressed to go out anywhere else and have fun. That's why he didn't tell anyone where he is. Besides that, Shuuichi thought he'd be happy without Yuki, but was only fooling himself. No matter what Yuki did to him, Shuuichi would still love him. 'Maybe Yuki is happy I left. Of course he is.' Shuuichi thought and broke down into tears.

Shuuichi's POV

I can't take it anymore. I knew Yuki never cared for me and that he never will. I don't have anyone to talk to about this anymore. It's partly my fault for not keeping in touch with everyone. But then again, I've been talking to Hiro and he's been keeping on update about everyone. We stopped talking last month though. The last thing I heard was that Nittle Grasper disbanded right after Bad Luck did, and Tohma is going back to being the president of NG Productions. Hiro finally proposed to Ayaka-chan so maybe that's why he hasn't called. I wish Yuki would propose to me, but I know that will never happen. Hiro's way to busy now. But even before that, Hiro didn't pay much attention me anymore, I felt kind of lonely and left out. The only person I could ever count on for anything, and he doesn't realize I exist anymore. Everyone else isn't close enough to me to talk to. I lost my best friend and my lover around the same time.

'I'm not strong enough to handle this any longer. I can't go on without the two most important people in my life... Or rather, the only two people whoever cared for me. Maybe Yuki didn't love me, but he cared otherwise he wouldn't have dealt with me for so long. I'm not important to anyone or maybe I never was. I bet that if I died ,no one would cry or even care. It would take them so long to find my body because they haven't even tried to look for me now. No one would remember me. If they do, it'll only be for a short while. Everyone, even my fans will forget me quickly. I wont be remembered too long.'

After having those thoughts and realizing it to be possibly very true, I dragged myself into the last bedroom which was very dark. After all, it was almost 10:30 p.m. I crawled behind my bed and sat there, back against the wall. 'No one would care if I died... No one. So, I should end my misery and spare everyone from my stupidness and annoying personality. That would make them all very happy.' I took out a mini knife from the draw next to my bed. I stared at my reflection in it. I looked terrible. I thought about dong this many times before, but in the end I could always find a way not too, perhaps because I was too scared. This time, I'll go through with it. I raised the sharp blade to my throat and pressed it gently onto my skin. The metal was cold. I slit my neck a few times and then went to my wrist and cut it where the veins were.So much blood gushed out of me. I began to feel weak and vision became blurred.

I continued cutting myself in random places. I heard the door to my apartment slam open. I wonder who that was. It doesn't matter. They're too late. I laughed but it was painful and I let out a cry. This let the person know where to find me because they came into my bedroom. I couldn't tell who it was. I couldn't see nor could I lift up my head. "Shuuichi." a very worried familiar voice said. It was Tohma-san. I know that voice anywhere. He took a step closer to me. "Don't come any closer or I'll do it!" I threatened while holding the sharp object to my heart. "I don't want to be saved. I want my suffering to end. Please, just let me get one thing I want. I never asked for much, but I always end up suffering. Please, Tohma-san." I began to get weaker. "Even after all that's happened, I still love him. I wish my only wish could come true before I die. I just want to hear him say three simple words, 'I love you.' That's it, but I never will and now I don't want to. I want to die peacefully without him on my mind." And with that, I pushed the dagger into my chest. Before everything went black, I heard Tohma-san scream something but I'm not sure what and my whole life flashed before me. "Good bye everyone." was my last few words. Everything went black.


	3. Protest

**Gravitation **

**Title: Makeikasu**

**Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation no matter how much I love it -;;**

**Chapter 3: Protest (Kogi) **

Tohma's POV

It was a horrible sight to see Shuuichi like that. He was covered in blood from head to toe. After he fell unconscious, I ran over to his side to see if he still had a pulse. He did, and I rushed to the phone and called an ambulance. The doctors said that he just missed his heart and they needed to give him a blood transfusion. He was alive, but just barely. Then they told me that Shuuichi is very weak and may not make it over night. Hearing this, I called all of his friends and told them what happened. They rushed over here so quickly.

We asked the doctors if we could see him, but they told us we should wait a little longer. "I can't believe... He would do this. If I had... Paid more attention... To him and... His feelings and not lost touch with him, I... Would've known how he felt. I could've stopped him. I let... My best friend down." Hiro said between chocked sobs. Everyone was crying. But the one I think who was affected the most was Eiri. He sat by himself on a couch on the other side of the room with his head in his hands. He was crying and just trying to hide it from everyone. He really does care for Shuuichi. If only he could've shown him that care before this happened.

"DAMN IT! That damn brat. First he leaves without saying a word and disappears and now he attempts suicide. This is all my fault." Everyone in the waiting room jumped when Eiri banged his fist on the wall and yelled something so unexpected. I couldn't believe my ears. He fell to the floor and put his arms around his legs and buried his face sobbing quietly to himself. I felt bad for Eiri. Seeing him cry like this. There was only one other time he cried like this but that was so long ago. I went over and tried to comfort him, but it didn't work. Eiri had only cried louder. "Tohma, don't let him die. I don't w-want him... To leave me... Alone. I promise... That I'll make it up to him." Eiri finally began to realize his feelings for him, but he might be too late. The first important thing Eiri ever asked of me, I may not be able to do. "Eiri, I can't promise, but I will do my best to help Shuuichi. We might be too late. You may not be able to tell him how you feel or that you're sorry. He may not make it over night. I'm sorry..." I couldn't do or say anything to help him.

The doctor came out and told us we can see Shuuichi. We couldn't be loud or excite him in any way because he was too weak. We all went in and saw him sleeping on a white bed with white sheets covering him. He was attached to so many machines and wires. This sight made Eiri whimper a little and caused him to worry more than before. We all took a seat somewhere in the room and waited for him to wake up. Eiri and I sat on opposite sides of Shuuichi. His eyes opened and he looked at me first, then to Eiri. "Where am I? What happened?" Shuuichi spoke, merely above whisper. His throat probably hurt too much to talk louder after cutting it up the way he did. "I brought you to the hospital after you threatened to commit suicide. Why did you do that? What were you thinking?" I was worried about HIM of all people. Maybe because it was hurting Eiri, but then again, I did feel bad for the singer. We had just started to get along.

"Tohma-san. I told you not to save me. Why did you save me? I don't want to live."He reached for the wires going in his body ready to pull them out. Eiri pulled his hand away so easily because Shuuichi hadn't enough energy to refuse. He started crying when he saw Eiri and turned the other way so he didn't have to face him. "Shuuichi. I'm so sorry about what I did before. I didn't mean for that to happen. I was really lonely without you. I-I love you-" Eiri stuttered but Shuuichi cut him off. "Shut up! I Don't want to hear your lies and false excuses. You weren't lonely without me. You think I don't know about her! I know you were going out with some girl. You were dating her for a month before I found out and left-"Shuuichi couldn't say anymore. It pained him. I couldn't believe my ears when Shuuichi said this. I thought that Eiri wouldn't do that to him because they were starting to get serious. I guess I was wrong. "Shuuichi, how do you know that? About her? I wasn't-" "I saw her talking about you to her friend. I know everthing so don't lie to me anymore. Just go away. You should be much happier without me anyway. You never cared for me and never will. I realize that now." Shuuichi buried his face in his pillow. I looked at Eiri with a questioned yet accusing face. He just looked away.

Shuuichi pleaded to me to make Yuki and everyone else leave because there were too many questions being asked that he refused to answer. Eiri refused to leave but when the doctor came in, he made everyone, including me, leave. Shuuichi asked me on my out if I can come back in later, alone. I promised him I would. I wouldn't leave his side. Everyone went home for the night and told me to call if anything happened to Shuuichi since I would be staying all night. Besides myself, Eiri also stayed even though he was refused by Shuuichi to come in.

A few hours later, Eiri had been sleeping peacefully on the couch in the waiting room. He was much more relaxed now that he knew Shuuichi was okay. "Seguchi-sama!" The doctor called. When I went over to him, he told me that I could see Shuuichi but to be quiet because he was sleeping. In my mind I kept saying to myself, 'Shuuichi, don't die. Don't die on us.' Me of all people worrying for him. To think I used to hate him and now that we're getting along well, he might die. I walked into his room silently and sat at his bedside. I looked down at him. He stirred in his sleep.

"Shuuich?." I said as I brushed a pink lock of hair from his eye."Tohma-san, you're here-" He coughed. "I told you I would be here. Try not to talk much. You need to save your energy. We're all worried about you. We don't want you to die. Why did you attempt suicide?" I started crying, the tears forcibly pouring down my already tear stained cheeks. Shuuichi was shocked to see me crying. But he couldn't be anymore shocked than I was. He gave me a gentle but weak smile. "Everyone went home?" "Everyone except Eiri and myself. He wants to see you and speak to you-" Shuuichi cut me off. "If he's going to tell me now that he loves me, he's waisting his time. If it took him too realize his feelings for me after I attempted suicide, I wasn't that important to him before." Shuuichi didn't cry. He was more, mature than usual. We were all so busy to realize how much he's grown up. I let the subject on Eiri drop for now and smiled at him.

Shuuichi's POV

I couldn't believe Tohma-san was crying for me. Why? I mean, we are getting along better now, but I didn't think it was enough to make him worry about me. I thought that no matter how much friendlier we become, there would always be a part of him that hated me. I guess I was wrong.He has such concern in his voice for me that it's unbelievable. It's like a dream. I suppose it's kind of nice to hear kind words coming from Tohma-san. I'd much rather hear kind words from Tohma-san than Yuki. Yuki's words are all lies anyway. I'll never believe him again. I guess since Tohm-san saved me, I won't give up. I'll live, for him. wait- What am I saying. Am I giving up on Yuki for Tohma-san. No, I can't be in love with him. Tohma-san of all people. He would never like me anyway so I should just forget that. But still. . . " Maybe, one day I will forgive Yuki but I can't guarantee I will return to him." I lied to him. "Just promise me that you won't let Yuki appear before me again. It's too painful to see him. Please, Tohma-san?" "I promise, Shuuichi. Now lay down and get some rest."

Tohma's POV Again

Flashback

Shuuichi had made it over night and woke up in the morning. He din't speak much. He had an extremely sad look in his eyes. He probably regreted breaking up with Yuki and saying he never wanted to see him again. I told Eiri that Shuuichi wished for him to never appear before him again, even though it was painful for me to tell him that. Eiri understood and thought he would give Shuuichi some time to sort out his feelings and whether or not he would forgive him. Eiri didn't want to rush things and make Shuuichi hate him anymore than he did and he didn't want to risk making the chances high for him to not forgive him. Towards the middle of the day Shuuichi started to feel weak again so I told him to lay down, but he refused. I was about to leave for a drink and some food but Shuuichi grabbed my shirt and pulled me back onto the bedside, shaking his head no. He held onto me tightly and didn't let me go. I put my arms around him and assured him that I wasn't going to leave. He fell asleep in my arms. I couldn't help but stare at his angelic face as he slept. I had to admit he was kind of cute. Eiri doesn't know what he risked giving up. I absent mindedly pulled our faces closer to each other until our lips were almost touching. I pulled away from him quickly when I realized what I was about to do. I can't believe I was just about to kiss Shuuichi. I can't do that. I'm married and besides I don't have feelings for him that way. He probably doesn't have feelings for me either. No matter what he says, he's probably still hung up on Eiri.

The doctor came in and saw Shuuichi sleeping in my arms. It was quite embarrassing. He asked me if he was okay. I told him that Shuuichi fell asleep like that a few moments ago. The doctor had a worried look on his face. He checked Shuuichi's pulse. "What's wrong?" I nervously asked, afraid of the news I might end up getting. "His pulse is slowly going back to normal. But. . . It's unusual for someone to sleep so much. He's growing so weak. I'm worried we may not be able to do anything more than what we have. It's up to his will now. I'm sorry." The doctor doubted him, but I knew Shuuichi wouldn't give up. He promised me he wouldn't. Shuuichi has a strong will to live, he won't die, I won't let him. I let him sleep in my arms all day since he wouldn't let go even in his sleep. I wouldn't have left anyway. Right now, it seemed that I was the only one Shhuichi could trust and rely on. It didn't look like he was going to wake up any time soon. I was getting worried. Then, I regreted telling Shuuichi to lay down and sleep.

End Flashback


	4. Anguish

**Gravitation**

**Title: Makeikasu**

**Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation no matter how much I love it**

**(Note: Towards the end of the chapter, the rating goes from T to a littleM)**

**Chapter 4: Anguish (Kurushimi)**

Tohma's POV

The incident where Shuuichi attempted suicide and I rescued him, happened a bit over two years ago. That day, the day that he fell asleep in my arms and the doctor told me he was growing weaker and said it's unusual for someone to sleep so much, I regreted telling him to rest. Since that day, Shuuichi has been in a coma, for two years now. A lot has happened since then. Shuuichi missed out on a lot of things. Everyone misses him so much, but he just won't wake up. Every day for the past two years, I've been coming by the hospital when I got the chance, to check up on him. Each day I hoped he would wake up and I would be the first one he sees. I want him to know that I'm keeping my promise and not leaving his side. We all can't wait for him to wake up. There's so much to tell him. Eiri still wants to talk to him. He hasn't forgotten about Shuuichi. Since the day he attempted suicide, Eiri hasn't dated anyone. Eiri can't wait for Shuuichi to regain conscience. I doubt that he will forgive Eiri for what he's done and at the same time, I don't want him to. Even I think Eiri's gone too far this time.

Visiting hours ended and I was about to leave when I heard Shuuichi call my name and stir in his sleep. He was probably going to regain conciousness so I decided to stay wanting to be the first person he sees. It was getting late so I had to wait in the waiting room. The next morning I woke up to loud screaming and a crashing sound. I went to Shuuichi's room to find him sitting up on his bed holding his head in his arms, the wires ripped out from his body. The doctors were worn out and I was told that they had to hold Shuuichi down. They told me I couldn't see him now because he wasn't in a good condition to have visitors. "What happened? Why can't I see hm?" "It's a miracle in and of itself that he regained conciousness. But, his mind is, well, how should I say this? He can't think straight and is really stressed out about whatever happened the day you brought him here. He lost his memory and refuses to remember anything or anyone. Despite the fact he can't remember anything, his mind is pretty messed up. He probably remembers bits and pieces of what happened and is trying to block it out. Hopefully, he will begin to slowly remember things without it messing him up. In the meantime, we will do what we can to calm him down and make him feel better. You can see him in about a half hour." Was the response I got.

Yes, this time indeed Eiri went to far. It finally went to Shuuichi's head until the point he attemtpted suicide, learned to hate Eiri, fell into a coma, got amnesia, and now lost his mind. It was a miracle he regained conciousness, but to get better he'll need a lot of luck. I'm happy he gained conciousness so I won't push my chances of getting his memory back. We'll just have to let him rest and relax. Get all the stress off his mind. I called Hiro and then Eiri and told them of the situation. After speaking to Ryuuichi, he told everyone at NG Productions. How long will it take to get back the little singer's energy and memory? When it was finally time for me to see him, I went to Shuuichi's room. I quietly closed the door behind me, careful not to disturb his nap. As I pulled the white covers over him, he opened his eyes. He stared at me with dull violet eyes. They had lost their light of hope, their shine. I hate those eyes. I want his lively, shiny, bright violet eyes to look at me again. I put my hand on his cheek and asked if he remembered me. I want him to remember me. I want him to remember my promise and for him to see that I kept it. He didn't answer me. I wanted him to say something, anything. Instead, he put his hand on mine and closed his eyes. "I don't want to remember anyone or anything. I'm sorry. But it pains me too much." I finally got an answer from him after a few miutes.

"It's okay. Take your time. I'll wait for you." I whispered into his ear and kissed him on his forehead. I smiled at him as gently as possible. I never smiled like this for him. His eyes began to fill up with tears. "Why are you being so nice to me? Everyone hates me. I feel alone and yet you talk to me with such kindness and smile at me with the most gentle smile I'd ever seen." He looked so sad. "No one hates you. Everyone you knew cares for you so much. You scared us and made us worry. Maybe you felt lonely and left out because we were all too busy with other things, but we're so sorry, Shuuichi. . ." I trailed off, not sure of what to say next. "I want you to remember me. We had just started to become friends and I thought I would lose you so quickly. You don't have to right away, but please try to remember everyone soon. Give us a second chance. You've missed so much and we want to tell you everything that has happened." He just shook his head and closed his eyes. I got up and sat at the bedside. I looked down to see him staring up at me. He got up slowly and rested his head on my shoulders and put his arms around me. He whispered into my ear, "Thankyou." and we sat there in silence. I could feel his heartbeat. It felt good holding him in my arms and him hugging me back. This is good enough for now.

Over the past few weeks, Shuuichi has been getting better other than a few break downs and crying fits due to stress or depression. The doctors said he will be able to come home. He has regained his memory about what happened and it doesn't seem to bother him any longer. He's not mad at anyone other than Eiri. His eyes got there shine back but he still hasn't smiled. It's been awhile since anyone seen him smile. I'm glad he's feeling a little bit better now. I'm going to bring him to my place instead of Eiri's, afraid that seeing him might cause him pain and more stress. We'll wait a little longer before he sees Eiri again.

When we got back to my place and I helped Shuuichi settle in, I had to go to Eiri's place to get Shuuichi's belongings. After he had moved out of Eiri's apartment and moved into his own, he kept his things there. But after I found him and brought him to the hospital, we decided to keep Shuuichi's things in Eiri's apartment instead. None of us were going to let Shuuichi live by himself after that. That's why I brought him to my place. "Tohma-san, where are you going? Can I come with you?" Shuuichi asked, tugging at my shirt. I didn't want him to come and see Eiri. "I don't think it's a good idea to let you come with me because I am going to Eiri's place to get your belongings. I thought you may not want to see him." I didn't want him to see Eiri. Was I being selfish? He sat down on the couch and said, "Fine. Just hurry up and come home quickly. I don't want to be here by myself." With that said I left and he waited for me to come home.

When I got back home, It had started to rain outside. I was wet all over. I went into my bedroom and saw Shuuichi sitting on the window sill looking outside at the rain. He turned around and saw me standing there all wet. He let out a small giggle and smiled at me. Not just any smile. No, this smile was different. It was a smile just for me. It warmed me to see him smile like this for me. I was the first one he smiled for in along time. Shuuichi got up and ran to the bathroom. He came back with a towel and dried my hair off. "Here, use this. You shouldn't have gone out without an umbrella. Heh!" I thought my heart had stopped. The old Shuuichi was back. "Tohma-san, you should get out of those wet clothes before you get sick. Here." He handed me some pair of pajamas. "Thankyou. I suppose you're feeling better?" "Yep! All thanks to you, Tohma-san. I wanted to thank you for being there for me and not leaving me by myself. You gave me hope."

Shuuichi's POV

Tohma-san blushed and looked away probably hoping to hide it. But I saw him blush. I'm glad it was Tohma-san who saved me. "Shuuichi." "Yes, Tohma-san?" "Please, for now on, call me Tohma." He was being so much nicer than I remember him being. Nicer to me. He never smiled at me so gently before and his tone of voice wasn't this gentle towards anyone other than Eiri. We've become closer. I wonder how close we can get. "Sure, Tohma. I'm going to go make some hot chocolate to warm you up."

After getting changed, he sat down in the living room on the couch. I gave him his cup and placed mine on the able. I went to get a blanket for us to share. When I came back, I put it around us and picked up my cup. Tohma put his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer and smiled. I don't believe what's happening. Is this a dream? I placed my cup on the table when I finished it and so did Tohma. He lifted my face up until our eyes met. In response, I put my arms around his waist. What is he going to do? "Tohma?" "Shh. It's okay." He whispered into my ear. I rested my head on his shoulder and as I did that, he started kissing my neck. This came to me as a shock. He pulled me into a hot passionate kiss. I moaned as he deepened the kiss. Tohma began to move his hands lower to unbutton my shirt. He slowly slid it off, still kissing me. I pulled away to gasp for air. I couldn't believe anything that was happening at this moment or who it was happening with. He pinned me down on the couch and kissed me again. Tohma moved down and left a lazy trail of kisses on my body. This would be a night neither of us would forget.


	5. Change

**Gravitation**

**Title: Makeikasu**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation even though I want to so badly. I'm sure everyone else wishes the same thing. **

**Chapter 5: Change (Kawari)**

Shuuichi's POV

The next morning, I woke to the sweet smell of breakfast. It smelled so good. When I awoke, at first, I forgot whose house I was in. Then the happenings of last night came to mind and I quickly remembered where I was and who I was with. Tohma came out of the kitchen and greeted me with a "Good morning. Did you sleep well? Are you hungry? I made us breakfast." I shook my head yes and headed for the kitchen and sat down at the table. I couldn't wait to eat Tohma's homemade cooking just for me. Again, the thought of last night came to my mind and I blushed at the thought. "Shuuichi? Is something wrong? You're so quiet this morning. Are you mad at me for last night? Did I do anything wrong? I hope not." Tohma sounded worried. "I bet you just thought, 'Damn, he still does have feelings for Eiri", didn't you?" Tohma blushed and looked away. "Awww. I didn't mean to sound mean." I walked up to him and lifted his face so he can face me. "Tohma. I don't have those feelings for Yuki anymore. He's all in the past now. I have you." I blushed. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me into a long passionate kiss. I love when he kissses me this way. Yuki never made me feel this way.

While eating breakfast, I began to realize that Mika wasn't here. Wait, Tohma's married and yet, last night he- This isn't good. He cheated on Mika for me. She's going to be pissed if she finds out. Not only because her husband cheated on her with me, but because I broke up with Yuki and went out with his brother-in-law despite knowing he's married. No matter who he is or how much power he has, Tohma can't hide his affair from Mika, atleast not for too long. Will he break up with me or divorce from Mika? I don't want him to leave me too, then I really will have nothing or no one. "Tohma, what about Mika-san? Is it okay for you to be doing this?" I asked nervously. I would regret it if I got the answer I didn't want to hear. But instead. . . "Oh, that's right. You were unconcious when everything changed." He put his cup of coffee down and I could see a deep sadness in his eyes. He quickly shrugged it off with a quick smile. He was going to tell me something bad and something good. Or atleast, I hope something good also.

"Shuuichi. Mika, well, she . . ." He paused. "It's okay Tohma, you don't have to tell me anything if it's to painful for you." "It's okay." He smiled and then continued. "Last year, Mika went to New York on a business trip. On her way home, the plane she was in, had a little accident. She didn't make it. She was also pregnant with what would have been, our first child togehter. But sadly, we never got to live as a family." I got up out of my seat and went over to Tohma. I didn't know what to say. "Tohma. I'm sorry to hear that. It's such unexpected news. I feel bad that you couldn't live as the happy family that you wanted." I pulled him close to me and hugged him tightly. I kissed him softly on his head and inhailed the sent of his soft silky hair. Poor Tohma. Even after losing his wife and kid, he still waited for me. I feel like I was being selfish. "Tohma. I'm really sorry. I wish I could have been there at the funeral and to be there for you the way you were there for me. I was being selfish. You had other things going on but I-" "It's not your fault. I know you would have been there if you could've. I bet she's happy though. To see you care so much. I'm sure she wouldn't mind us together. Mika didn't like the idea of you and Eiri together anyway because you guys kept hurting eachother. I bet if she was here right now, she would say something like, 'I told you so.'" he smiled at me and hugged me tighter, not wanting to let go. "Tohma." I said as he buried his head into my chest. I sat there, holding him just like that until he felt better. It was sad that Mika left us, but at the same time, I was happy because now he was mine. Later in the day, I guess I couldn't help it, and I cried for her because I wasn't there and Tohma lost everything dear to him. I will take good care of him, Mika. I promise.

After dinner, Tohma told me that Ryuuichi wants me to rejoin Bad Luck and he'll have Nittle Grasper rejoin. While I was unconcious, the two most famous bands were gone, but still very popular. Ryuuichi and Tatsuha lived in New York together but were going to come back here. Hiro finally proposed to Ayaka-chan and she gladly accepted. At first, they were going to live here, for my sake. However, Hiro ended up living in Kyoto thinking that I wouldn't want him to worry over me like everyone else. Of course, I didn't want everyone to stop their lives for me. At that time, I didn't care anyway. Suguru and Noriko had formed a band together, just the two of them. But now, they're going to disband and rejoin there old bands. K-san and Sakano-san were their manager and producer, I felt bad for them, mostly Noriko, having to put up with someone like K-san as her manager. Tohma focused mainly on being President of NG Productions. That's about it, I guess. I missed by best friends wedding and Mika's funeral. I felt so bad. Like the worst friend imaginable. But then again, I guess Noriko and Fujisaki wouldn't have formed a cool band. That was the only good thing to look to about me being in a coma for so long. Tomorrow night, they're going to preform their last song together and annnounce their disbanding and reforming of their old bands. Tohma's going to take me to their concert. I can't wait. My first date with Tohma. Heh.

That reminds me, I wonder how long Tohma can keep our seeing eachother a secret from the press. Eventually they would find out. I wonder what everyone will think, especially our fans. Will they allow it? I don't care if they support us or not. I love him and I want to be with him no matter what. For now though, I think the media is going to focus on Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper. They will also want to know how I am and if my relationship with Yuki will continue. Of course, the answer would be no and if Tohma's okay with it, I will respond with a, 'No, I'm with Tohma now.' Just thinking about it makes me so happy and excited. I hope that day will come soon. To think I would end up with Tohma! I'm so happy. It's a good thing I broke up with Yuki. It doesn't bother me much anymore. I remember thinking one time, 'It would be nice to hear Yuki say "I love you" at least once and propose to me.' But now I see that it was an unreachable goal. Now I want Tohma to be the one. Maybe he might.


	6. Reunion

**Gravitation**

**Title: Makeikasu**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Gravitation. I wish it were mine lol. I only own the plot. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 6: Reunion (Saikai)**

Shuuichi's POV

It was already six thirty pm and Tohma and I had to get ready for Noriko's and Fujisaki's final concert as a band togehter. They weren't expecting us to show up, or atleast I didn't think they were. I wanted to look nice since it would be the first time seeing them after two long years. I wonder how much they've changed. I really can't wait to see everyone and go back to the way things used to be, only this time I would be with Tohma instead of Yuki. Tohma let me borrow some of his clothes for tonight but I think they're a bit too big on me. "Shuuichi? Are you ready yet? We have to leave in fifteen minutes." I was too embarrassed to come out. I looked kind of funny, what with the clothes being bigger than me. I didn't think Tohma's clothes were so big. "Tohma. I don't want to come out. They're too big. I need a different pair of clothes." "Come on out. Let me see how you look." I came out. I was wearing what I think was a pair of Tohm'as old clothes when he was on stage. He let me wear his fancy black leather pants and a short silk red tanktop. Of course on me, it wasn't short and neither were the pants. The pants were long enough to fit under my shoes.Over the shirt I had on a black leather jacket. The sleeves were too long. It went passed my hands. "I think you look cute. You should wear more loose clothes. I prefer you wearing these clothes more than the others you've been wearing." He smiled, I blushed. "Really, you think so? Than I guess it's okay. I mean if you like it then-" He cut me off with a kiss. "You look great." He put a black cap backwards on my head and a pair of suglasses on my eyes. I had my hair pinned up in a pony tail since it grew when I was unconcious. "A perfect disguise. No one will know it's you since you sort of look like a punk. It suits you well. You are a rock star after all." Tohma was wearing a pair of sunglasses and a hat too so that our fans won't spot us and chase us asking if we're togehter. He took my hand in his and we walked to the Live House Noriko and Fujisaki would be playing at, holding hands the whole way.

When we got there, he let go of my hand and told me we shouldn't walk in like that because he didn't want to surprise everyone about us so quickly. "Yo, Shuuichi!." I turned around and saw Hiro coming towards us. "Long time no see. How are you feeling?" I ran up to him and hugged him. "Hiro! I've missed you so much. I heard that you and Ayaka-chan are finally together. Tohma filled me in on everything. By the way, I thought you guys were in Kyoto and that you wouldn't be here until the day after tomorrow." "We wanted to get here alittle early to see everyone. Besides, we wouldn't miss their concert for anything. He smiled and pointed to Noriko and Fujisaki coming our way along with K-san and Sakano-san. K-san is the same as usual greeting us with a threat on his lips and a gun in his hands. Fujisaki was taller, of course he would be since he's graduating this year. Sakano-san was his same nervous wreck as usual. I really do wonder how these two put up with them as their manager/producer. It was easy for Bad Luck to handle them. Well, I guess we'll be going back to the same old routine soon, so that means they will be managing us again. I can't wait for things to go back to normal. "Oh, I almost forgot. I'm sorry for not being able to attend your wedding." I wanted to be there for them but I missed out on so many important things. "It's okay, Shindou-san. We know you would've been there if you could have." That was Ayaka-chan. "Hey, you don't have to be so formal around friends. Just call me Shuuichi. Heheh."

We were all talking and laughing about old times and then I was glomped by Ryuuichi who snuck behind me and attacked me. "Shuuuuuiiiiiichiiiiiii! You're okay! YAY! We're finally going to start our old bands again. I can't wait for us to be side by side on stage again. This is great." He glomped me again. "I missed you to Ryuuichi!" "Ryuuichi, when did you get back?" Tohma looked as suprised as I did when I saw Hiro. He was probably expecting them too show up at a later date too. "I was here since yesterday. But I wanted to see everyone today so we would all be togehter. I also wanted see Noriko and Fujisaki play. I never heard them before since I was in America this whole time." Tohma sighed. "As long as you made it here safely." That's right. They were coming from America, the same place Mika was coming from when she died in that plane crash. He still loved her. Of course he would, she was his wife after all.

Tohma's POV

"Shuuichi, What's wrong/" I heard Hiro ask him with a concerned voice. "Nothing. I'm fine!" He smiled. But I know something was bothering him. Was it because I just thought of Mika and he knows? I absent mindedly hugged him tightly in front of everyone. He hugged me back. They all gasped in suprise. I couldn't hide it now, it was too late. They knew. Both Shuuichi and I blushed thinking about how to explain what was going on between us. "Tohma and Shuuichi!" Noriko, Fujisaki, K, Sakano, Ryuuichi, and Tatsuha said in unison. "No way! Since when? And you didn't tell us! Why?" Hiroshi demanded an answer from one of us. We avoided there looks of accusationas if we've done something bad. Hiroshi grabbed Shuuichi by his coat and shook him asking why didn't we tell him sooner. Shuuichi fell to the floor trying to catch his breath. "I can't believe this! You, Tohma, of all people with Shuuichi. That's a first." Noriko pointed at me. "You guys sound disappointed for some odd reason." "Of course they're disappointed Tohma. Me and you? No one would believe that could happen because you're so perfect and you have so much power and I'm an annoying idiot. Besides that, they would think that I'm still depressed over Yuki and You over Mika!" Shuuichi broke down into tears. "Shuuichi, we didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry, really. We didn't mean it in a bad way." Hiro was the first to speak. He's always the first one to try and cheer him up. Best friend instincts I guess.

"I mean, is it really THAT weird?" Shuuichi asked, trying to calm down a bit after hearing Hiroshi's words. "No, it's not. We really are sorry." "I guess we did kind of think that you would want to be with Yuki. But then again, why would you after what he's put you through." "It's okay. Tohma would take good care of you. I think you guys make a good couple." Everyone was trying to cheer him up. I knew that they would support us no matter what. "Well, now that that's out of the way, I think you two have somewhere to be." I told them they had to get ready for their final song. Finally we would all be able to hear how good of a band they really are.

Fujisaki and Noriko went to get ready while everyone else went closer to the stage. "Shuuichi. Are you alright now? You don't need to worry about what they said. They were probably just teasing you anyway because no one would think you would leave Eiri." I pulled him closer to me and leaned on the wall. We watched the concert together from the back of the room. I know that I saw Eiri at the concert. He was standing by the door closest to Shuuichi and I. Eiri probably didn't want us to see him but I knew he was there. I wanted to make it clear that Shuuichi was mine now and that I wouldn't let him put Shuuichi through the same thing again. He probably got the idea but I know that Eiri still has feelings for Shuuichi and regreted what he has done to him. He's waited for so long to speak to him and now that Shuuichi is back to his regular self, he's going to try to talk to him. Maybe he might even try to get Shuuichi back. I won't let him take Shu from me. He's mine now.

"Tohma, what are you so happy about? You're smile is kind of weird." "I'm just glad you're here with me Shu-chan." I called him by the nickname I wanted to call him for so long for the first time. He blushed such a deep red color. He looked so cute. He's always cute, but I love it when I make him blush like that and he gets shy. He looks so adorable. I pinned Shuuichi against the wall and forgot all about where I was or what I was doing there. The music didn't matter. I just wanted to show Eiri that Shuuichi is mine now. First I kissed him on the forehead, then the nose. Finally on the lips. Those soft lips against mine. I deepened the kiss and got a little bit rough. He responded to my kiss and moaned when I deepened it. Shuuichi slid one hand on my waist and the other he put behind my head pulling me closer to him and deepening the kiss further. He wanted more. It seemed as though both of us either forgot where we were or we just didn't care anymore. If anyone sees us, let them. I'm not worried about it anymore. I need him. I want him.

Shuuichi's POV

I don't know what came over Tohma all of a sudden. It doesn't really matter. I'm enjoying myself and he's enjoying himself. I hope no one sees us otherwise the media will never leave us alone. Tohma probably doesn't care since he's doing this in public. I guess it's easier if they find out now. It doesnt matter to me anymore either. Now, I only care about us. And right now, Tohma was getting rougher, more demanding. How far will he go, here, in public? He slid his hands under my shirt and started teasing me. He moved his lips to my ears and started nibbling on them and moved slowly down my neck. He stopped between my neck and shoulder. He was being so rough that he left a mark on me. "Toh . . . .ma . . . Ah!" He pressed his body against my own. He felt so good. He was definetly getting serious. "Not . . . Here . . ." I clung tightly to him. I didn't want him to stop,but things were getting to- We couldn't stay here. He kissed me again. He wanted more. Tohma wanted to go further. So did I. I broke off the kiss to gasp for some air and rested my head on his shoulder. He left a trail of soft kisses down the other side of my neck. "Tohma. Let's go home. We . . . Can't stay here." I could hardly stand anymore, let along breathe. I slid slowly to the floor. Tohma, tried to hold me up. When I was steady, I noticed everyone in the room looking our way. Everyone.

Tohma didn't seem to be bothered by this. He definetly doesn't care who finds out or when they find out. So many quesions were being asked, mostly to me. Our fans were shocked. Some of the questions being asked were, "Ohmigawd! How long have you and Tohma been going out?" "Shuuichi, are you going to start Bad Luck again?" "So I guess if you and Tohma are dating, that means your relationship with Eiri Yuki is over?" or "What made you and Eiri Yuki break up? Who broke up with who?" etc etc. The list of questions could go on forever. They just had to ruin the mood. I wish we were home. They were giving me a headache. "Yes. We're going out now and it does mean his relationship with Eiri is over. Shuuichi broke up with him two years ago. We've been dating ever since." With that Tohma smiled, took my hand and we ran for it.

When we finally got back to his place, I had to stop and relax. Tohma pulled me in his house. It was already late, so it was too dark in the house to see where you were going. As I was about to turn on the lights, Tohma pulled me away from them. "We don't need the lights, not now. Where were we?" Tohma pushed me onto the couch and pinned me down. Why is it always so easy for him to do that? He quickly pulled off my coat and shirt and started kissing me. At first they were slow and soft. But they got rougher, faster. Tohma wanted more. He wanted to hear me moan louder, pant more. He was being so demanding tonight. Why? It doesn't matter. It feels so good. "Shuuichi, you definetly look better in looser clothes. I couldn't take my eyes off you for a second." He paused. He wanted to say something else but he didn't. He just continued making love to me. Tohma, what's going on in your mind right now? Something's come over him.

Later that night, after we took care of our business, I was determined to find out why he was acting so demanding. Instead he told me that I was being very obediant. "Can't I just make love to you when I want? Is that so weird?" "No, it's just, that all of a sudden at the concert you-" He cut me off with a kiss. He pulled me closer to him and I put my arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. I guess it was a little strange, huh? I saw Eiri at the concert." He paused, wanting to see my reaction to that name. I made no reaction, but, was Tohma jealous? "So? I don't have feelings for him anymore. I forgot everything we've been through together. I love you now, Tohma." I smiled sweetly at him, the smile that was for him, and him alone. I know he loves to see that smile. "I guess, I just wasn't thinking right. The way you used to be when you saw Eiri, I thought if you saw him now, you'd run up to him and leave me. A litttle jealousy got in the way, that's all-" I put my finger on his lips. For the first time since we're going out, I kissed him.

"Tohma, just one more thing." I was so tired, I could hardly think straight. "Anything." "Why did you tell the fans we were going out for two years? We've only been going out for two days." "These kind of things get to the media fast. Some of them probably took pictures and wrote down what I said to them. I want to make the media think we were dating for so long and that they missed such an important scoop. It's fun to mess with them. Besides, I kind of thought you had feelings for me since then, didn't you?" Fun? To tease the media. I guess so. It would also make us much more popular. There's no doubt in my mind that our fans will support us. "Yea, but at that time it was just a passing thought. I wanted to because you were the only one for me to count on but then I thought that since were married you wouldn't care for me." "No, it was the same for me. A passing thought, but I thought you would be hung up on Yuki." That's nice to know. So I guess in a way were going out for two years. Tohma kissed me on the forehead and whispered into my ear, "Good night. I love you, Shu-chan." I slowly let the dreams take me away and we fell asleep.

**Author's Note's: The beginning of this Chapter kind of sucks. I had writer's block. Man, I just hate that. Well, I decided to throw in some scene's between Tohma and Shuuichi to make it a little bit more interesting, but I'm not so sure that worked. O well. Whether or not you guys liked it, your reviews are always welcome. BTW, this is my first shot at a gravitation fanfic so I'm really glad how well you've all supported me, THANKS!**

**Some of you really helped. Like the readers who like my pairing and support it, thankyou, and for those of you who miss Yuki and mentioned it in your reviews, I'll be bringing him back in the next chapter just for you, though I'm not sure it will be what your expecting hehe. Anyway, if any of you guys have suggestions or commenyts, let me know, they're fully appreciated and I promise to give you credit. Bye Bye!**


	7. Faithful Night

**Gravitation**

**Title: Makeikusa**

**Disclaimer: I don't own gravitation but I do own the plot and the poem. This is what some of you have been waiting for: the return of Yuki! The poem is called Fadin' love in case you wanted to know. I wrote it especially for this fic, for this chap. I hope it goes well with it.**

**Chapter 7: Chijutsu Yoru (Faithful Night)**

Shuuichi's POV

The next morning when I woke up and sat down at the table with Tohma ready to eat breakfast, he handed me the paper. "I told you the media was quick. They already put us in the news. I bet everyone knows about us by now." I couldn't believe it. Already? I wonder if now that Tohma's back to his regular self, if he regrets doing that and letting everyone know so quickly. But then again, he may not regret it since he did it to show Yuki that I belonged to him and now that we're in the paper, Yuki will find out for sure. "That's not all. It seems as though someone even caught us on tape." He turned on the news.

"Last night it seems as though our fans found out an interesting piece of news. As I understand, at the concert holding the final concert for the new and up coming band that Noriko Ukai and Suguru Fujisaki was holding, the two famous x bands were gathering for a reunion of some sort. Even Shuuichi Shindou of Bad Luck who has disappeared for quite some time now, was there. Tohma Seguchi has declared his love for Shuuichi. If you take a look, here's the footage." A reporter had most of what happened last night. I can't beleive it. How embarrassing. We were everywhere. "Shuuichi, don't be embarrassed. This is a good thing, they were going to find out anyway." "I guess so." I smiled. "The fans seem to support their relationship, but one can't quite help to ask if this means Shindou-san's relationship with Eiri Yuki is over? And for how long this new couple has been going out? One fan who was there at the concert last night heard Seguchi-sama say that they were dating for two years now and that Eiri Yuki and Shuuichi Shindou broke up and since then, they've been dating. How could we have missed such a-" Tohma turned off the T.V. "I guess things will be a bit busy and noisy for awhile now that they found out so soon." I sighed.

"Yea, but it'll be even more busier once they find out Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck are coming back. All this news happened all at once." Tohma laughed. "I think it will be too much for our fans to handle all at once." Well, one thing was for sure. It was going to be busy. We had to get ready for our press conference stating that we will be reforming our old bands again.

After the press conference took place, Tohma had to stay at the office in NG Productions for a bit, so I told him I would go on ahead and that I'll see him when he gets home. I wanted to get home the fastest way, so I took a shortcut through the park. I stopped for a few minutes to see the sunset. It was so beautiful. I wish Tohma were here to see it with me. "Shuuichi?" A familiar voice startled me out of my thoughts. A voice I knew too well. A voice that belonged to someone I still refused to see. I was so nervous to turn around and face him.

Yuki's POV

There he was. Shuuichi. He was just standing there. I know he heard me call his name, I was pretty loud and I saw him flinch, probably at the sound of my voice. "Shuuichi?" I asked again, hoping for answer. He turned around. Wow, he looks so different from the last time I've seen him. "You like like quite the juvenile delinquent." I tried to sound playful. "It's been so long. I've missed you, Shuuichi." I went up to him and tried to put my hand on his shoulder, but he jumped back. "What's wrong? Why won't you say anything to me? Are you afraid of me? Are you angry? Listen, I'm really sorry about what I've put you through and that nothing I say or do can make up for that-" "If you know, then why are you here? Why do you appear before me? I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to see you again." What? Were my ears decieving me? Shuuichi really did hate me. I thought he would never hate me, but I guess I took that for granted. But I guess that was expected after what I've done.

_For the love that is slowly fadin'_

_For the broken heart that I'm aidin'_

_I want to give up my life_

_Because the pain I'm feeling is like being stabbed with a knife_

"Shuuichi. I don't want you to hate me. Please, just listen to what I have to say. I love you." For the first time, I meant what I said. I really do love him. "I mean it. I realized how much I really loved you after I thought I was going to lose you forever. I hope that you can find a place in your heart to forgive me, to accept me again. I know I probably sound selfish, but I need you." I was practically on the verge of tears. I wanted him back so badly. I want to believe that what I saw and heard about him and Tohma were all lies, a nightmare. I didn't want to lose him to anyone. Why couldn't I see this before? My feelings for him. Now I might be too late, but I have to try with the little bit of hope I do have left.

_Because I can't stand myself_

_Because I hurt you as well as my innerself _

_Feeling the dark starry night_

_I dream of our gold love's light_

"There all lies. Everything you say are all lies. I don't believe any of it. And yes, you are being selfish. You got the nerve to ask me to come back to you after all you've done to me? After all those times I wanted you to come to me but you refused me? It's okay for you to turn me down, but it's not okay for me to turn you down, right? I hate you and everything you do. If it took me attempting suicide to make you realize your feelings for me, then I feel sorry for anyone else who ends up with you. You're going to put everyone through hell." He sounded disgusted. His words were harsh. I know what I did was wrong, but this, this was too much. He found the guts to speak up to me. Is this how rejection feels? This is the first I felt it and by the only person I ever really loved. This is how he must of felt countless times when I rejected him. It's a horrible feeling. The worst. I was so mean to him. I regreted everything I've done to him. I wish I could take it all back and we would be together. If only I would've known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have done any of those things. Now, I was crying. Shuuichi seemed surprised to see me cry, I guess because he only seen me cry once before now. "I'm. . . . Really sorry, please. . . . Forgive. . . . Me." I tried to beg for his forgiveness between chocked sobs. I didn't want to lose him. That's what I feared most.

"Yuki." I heard him sigh, in a more gentle voice than before. His voice was so cold, like ice but now it was softer. "I'm only going to tell you this once. I won't get you back for what you've done because I believe what goes around comes around. I believe you already know about Tohma and I? If you thought it was a joke, it's not, we're lovers now. If you want to, you can count it as payback, but I don't believe in that. I don't want to hurt anyone because I know that feeling to well and no one deserves it. I have no intentions of getting back together with you now or ever. I won't put myself throught that again." "Shuuichi, I've changed-" He cut me off. "I was speaking. It doesn't matter to me whether or not you've changed. At least it will be good for anyone else who tries to get together with you. They won't have to go through what I did and suffer such consequences. Right now, I know for sure that I will never have feelings of love for you any longer, but I'm not so sure if I should forgive you for what you've done. If I decide to forgive you, you should think of yourself as lucky. It will take a lot for you to gain my trust back. Try and show me how much you've changed but it will only go as far as friendship between us. No matter what, we will never be lovers again." His voice was gentle but his words were harsh, cold. I didn't want to hear those words. But I rather have him as a friend than nothing. I will continue to try even if it's impossible. He never gave up on me, so I won't give up on him. It started to rain. It was raining hard. Perfect weather for a night like this, after I just heard such hurtful things from the one I love most. But I deserved it and I knew it. I got up and moved closer to Shuuichi. I put my arms around him and hugged him. To my suprise, he hugged me back. I guess this is good enough for now. It's better than nothing. I pulled away. "So, it's true, huh? You and Tohma really are togehter?" I tried not to sound upset but I think I sounded a bit more disappointed than upset.

_To the love that was ours_

_To the tears that fell through the hours_

_And to me, whose soul cries tears that rain like showers_

_I let this love of ours fade_

_For mine and other hearts that were played_

"Yes, we are together, Eiri." Tohma was behind me. "Tohma!" Shuuichi's expression changed completely when he saw Tohma. "Shuuichi, come over here under my umbrella. You'll get wet and then you'll get sick. We can't have that. I thought you were going straight home. What are you doing out here anyway?" "I stopped to watch the sunset. I thought that I wanted to see it with you one day! Heheheh!" Tohma patted him on the head. "Is that so? Than maybe we will. How about tomorrow if the weather's nice?" "Really? Yay!" Shuuichi looked so happy around Tohma. He smiled such a sweet cute smile. He used be like that with me, but his face was never filled with that much emotion probably beause he decided to love me even though he was in pain. He will never smile like that again for me. Only for Tohma. I used to think no one could replace me in his heart, but Tohma did. It was bound to happen eventually. He could never love me like that. He always did like Tohma, because he was a part of Nittle Grasper. I bet Tohma will take much better care of him than I ever could, and knowing that hurts. Shuuichi was just too happy with him, now I didn't have the heart to ruin his happiness once more. Let them be togehter. I guess it was never meant for us to be, and if it is, then maybe one day, we'll be lovers again. I can only hope now. "If you will excuse us Eiri, we'll be leaving now." Tohma bid his farewells. "You should get home to, it's raining really bad, Yuki." I could only smile at him. I couldn't find my voice to say anything. There's nothing I could've done to make him stay anyway. I just watched him, walking further and further away from me. I missed him so much. I'm glad I got to see him, that he spoke to me. 'This park, it's where we first met and got together. Now, it was the place we met and broke up, probably forever. The place we got together and the place we broke up. This park holds so many memories, both good and sad. Shuuichi, I would defineltely miss you. Too think you would leave me. Heh. I won't date anyone, because I love you and I always will.' It was a thought that made me shiver because he was gone but it made me feel good. I just wanted to let him know that. One day, I'll tell him. I won't say this again, because it might cause trouble, unless we actually do get back together, but, "Shuuichi, I love you." They were out of my sight now. They probably got home awhile ago and is now sitting on the couch cuddling together. If only that were me and Shuuichi now. I looked up, it stopped raining, the sky was clear now. I blew a kiss in the direction Shuuichi walked away in.

"I'll aways love you, huh?" That's what he once told me. I know he meant it. Only now, his love was that of friendship. But I know I'll always love him as something more, no matter what. You better take better care of him than I did Tohma. I know you will. He's happier with you anyway. I walked away, into the night.

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**Author's Notes: I think so far, this is my favorite chapter and my longest. It's kind of sad, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Please review! Hehe. I finally made Yuki try to get Shuuichi back but he failed. I don't think he deserves him back. He's better with Tohma. Don't get me wrong, I like YukixShuuichi but I kinda like ShuuichixTohma more since it's rare and they look cute together. Anyway, this isn't the end of the story. I'm sure this chapter probably suprised some of you because Yuki was unusually nice, but the ending will be even more suprising, a little unexpected. Thankyou guys for supporting me...It's because of you and your reviews that keep me going!**


	8. Deja Vu ?

**Gravitation**

**Title: Makeikusa**

**Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation but I own the plot.**

**Chapter 8: Deja Vu. . . . ?**

Shuuichi's POV

It's already been two weeks now since our fans found out about me and Tohma and that Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck are back together. Things have quieted down a little bit since the news hit everyone. Everything is back to normal now at NG Productions. The same old days as it used to be, with K threatening everyone, Hiro trying to calm us down, Fujisaki is as quiet as usual and wants things to be done on time and Ryuuichi and I are still our usual energetic selves. Even though this way of life is kind of crazy, I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way. Though everyone is not to happy about it because they think something might go wrong, Yuki and I are friends now. To tell the truth, I didn't want to but then again I did. It's all confusing. Oh well, what's done is done, I suppose.

Yuki had a new book recently published so I decided to read it tonight after dinner. I was laying down on the couch reading it when Tohma came into the living room and sat down beside me. "Shuuichi, I need to tell you something." He didn't seem like he wanted to tell me something bad but then why was he talking so quietly. Well, Tohma always has a straight face on. I put the book down to listen to what he had to say. "What is it? I hope it's not bad news." "Well, you can say it's bad and good news." He smiled at me, then continued. "In two days I have to leave for New York on a business trip, but I will be back in no time." What? Tohma's leaving. I know he's a very busy person, but so soon. I mean, we only been together for two weeks and this will be the first time without him. "Oh, I see." "Don't sound so disappointed. I promise I'll be back as soon as possible. In about a week or even less." A whole week without him. I guees I can survive that. But it'll be so lonely without him here. I can't wait that long but it can be loger so I guess it's not so bad. "And the good news?" "Come with me." He took my hand and we left the house. Where was he going to bring me?

We were at the park. "Remember the other night you said you wanted to see the sunset with me?" He remembered that. Yes, I'll be able to watch it with him. He put his arms around me and we stood there and watched the sun set. It was such a beautiful day today and the sky was beautiful. The little breeze played around with our hair. I moved closer to him. My heart was pounding. Why was I so nervous? Tohma looked nervous too, and he was blushing slightly. Then a thought occured to me. He said he had good news, and then he brought me here. Was he going to- "Shuuichi." I turned around to face him. If he's going to do what I think he's going to do- I got even more nervous. I mean, so soon? I hope I wasn't dreaming.

He kissed me on my forehead and then on my lips. When he pulled away, he slipped his hands into his pocket. Oh, my god, he is going to- I could feel my heart beat faster. "Tohma." "Shh." He placed his finger over my lips. He knows that I know what he's going to ask me. "Shuuichi, will you marry me?" He presented a small box that was opened, revealing a ring that glimmered so beautifully in the sun set behind us. I jumped into his arms and kissed him. We lost balance and fell on the ground, still kissing. "I'll take that as a yes, then." Tohma said, trying to catch his breath. "Yea. I just can't believe so soon, but I'm not complaining." I hugged him again. Me and Tohma, this is like a dream. I was so happy. My heart was jumping in joy and I tried to supress as squeal but couldn't. "You look really happy." "Of course I am. I'll be officially yours soon! Yay!" I got up and helped Tohma off the ground and started dancing. He laughed and said that I looked so cute. He pulled me over to him and slid the ring onto my finger. It really was pretty. "Thankyou, Tohma. I feel like the happiest and the luckiest guy in the world!" We stayed a little longer in the park before going home.

The next day at work, I bragged all day about last night and I showed off my ring to everyone. "My cousin sure cares a great deal about you. You're very lucky." Fujisaki sounded a bit surprised. K-san whistled and wished he had one like that. He even threatened to take it from me by force but somehow I got out of that one alive just the same as I got away from all his other threats. "Yo, Shuuichi. Way to go! I can't believe how quickly Tohma proposed to you. He certainly cares a lot for you, I'm so jealous. My Shuuichi is growing up so fast. Don't forget to invite us to the wedding." Hiro was teasing me. "Hey, what do you mean I'm growing up? I'm not a kid!" "I know, I know." He said nervously. "At any rate, I'm so proud of you." Everyone was so surprised to hear that Tohma proposed to me, that they could hardly say anything more. They were also kind of jealous, it made me feel special. I still couldn't beleive it myself.

Today Tohma was leaving for New York. I can't wait for him to come back home. I'm going to miss him so much. "Tohma, I don't want you to go." I kept pulling on his sleeve and begged him to stay. "I don't want to go either, but I have to. I'll be back soon. I'm going to miss my plane, so you're going to have to let me go." He smiled at me. A whole week without him smiling at me. "So, you can miss your plane and stay here with me!" I teased him. Well if I didn't stop playing aroung he really was going to miss his plane so I let go. I stood up on my toes and kissed him on his nose, and then hugged him tightly. "I love you, Tohma." "I love you, too. I promise I'll come home as soon as possible and I'll call you when I'm on my way." He kissed me goodbye and then ran to his plane.

Since Tohma was gone this week, we had the entie week off all to ourselves. If only we had a vacation where Tohma would be here so I can be together with him. Anyway, for most of the week, I spent it hanging out with Hiro and Ryuuichi. I tried to get some lyrics done so we would be prepared for work when we got back. While going home one night, I ran into Yuki and he knew about my engagement. He probably heard from Tohma. Tohma probably told him to rub it in his face. At least now, Yuki knew and wouldn't try anything. Yuki looked disappointed that I was going to spend the rest of my life with Tohma instead of him and he looked depressed. We decided to hang out for a bit and talk. I told him that I'm reading his knew book and that it was really good. He blushed at my comment although I don't know why. Later, he dropped me off at Tohma's house and left.

It was so quiet, so lonely without Tohma here. The phone rang. I jumped up to get it, hoping it was Tohma. "Hello? Tohma, is that you?" "Hey, Shuuichi." It was him. I felt so relieved to hear his voice after so long. "I'm waiting at the airport now. I'll be on my way home soon. I should be there by tomorrow morning. They said the plane might be delayed, so you don't have to come to the airport to pick me up. Well, I got to go. I'll see you soon." Yay! Tohma was coming home. I can't wait to see him. I don't feel like going to sleep because I might miss when Tohma gets home. I want to be awake when he gets home so that I can greet him right away. I'll keep myself occupied by finishing the book.

It was almost morning and I was just a chapter away from finishing. I turned on the T.V. when I went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. I wasn't really listening to it since it was on the news channel. After I made something to eat, I sat back down on the couch and began reading again. "There have been some recent murders in New York, so last night, the planes from New York to Tokyo, Japan were delayed, making sure the murderers weren't on the plane. After the thorough check up on the plane, they left last night around ten p.m. The murderers that were found on the plane were planning to go to Tokyo to escape. They were arrested last night. However, it seems as though they hijacked the plane coming from New York. The plane suffered a serious crash but luckily no one died. The passengers were badly injured. No one came out unharmed. The passengers were immediately hospi-" I forgot to turn off the T.V. It was so loud, I couldn't concentrate on my book.

When I finished, I noticed that the story was very similar to mine and Yuki's life together. Did he base it on us? I went to the dedication page and saw my name. Right before it, there was an extra page I hadn't noticed before. It read:

_Shuuichi, I'm truely sorry for what I've done to you. I really love you and I wish you were still mine. I started this book two years ago, when we were still lovers. Back then we were really close to eachother, so I wanted this book to be about our lives when we were happy together. But instead, I was being cold to you and kept pushing you away, causing you to leave me. I didn't want you to know that I was writing this book because I wanted to finish as soon as possible and surprise you with it. But things didn't turn out that way. I thought of doing this to make you happy but I only caused you pain. Now that you're with Tohma and not with me, I changed the story around a bit. I didn't want to write down what really happened, so I changed a few things. Anyway, there's a happy ending in the book itself for the two main characters involved, but for us, in real life, we ended up suffering, you suffering the most. I suppose in a way, we had a happy ending but not the one I hoped for. This story is another way of me saying I'm sorry and showing you instead of telling you, the way I wanted things to turn out. the way I hoped for. Our fantasized happy ending. I also wanted to let you know that I still love you no matter what and that I'm here for you. I'll always love you. Feel free to ask me for anything. I'll grant you the wish wanted so bad two years ago, although I'm not so sure it will matter to you now but, "I love you."_

_Always yours, _

_Eiri Yuki_

It was nice to know he still cared for me but it's too late now. However, I couldn't stop a smile from tugging at the end of my lips. This book was for me after all, so I'm going to accept it as his last gift of love. The phone rang. Was it Tohma? Did he just get here? That means he'll be home shortly. I ran to the phone. "Hi!" "Shuuichi, it's Hiro. Did you think I was Tohma?" Hiro? Why would he be calling. "Oops. Sorry Hiro. What's up?" "I was just listening to the news. Did you here it?" I had the news on before, but like I said, I wasn't really paying attention. "No, why? What happened?" Whatever happened, I don't know why he was telling me. What would it have to do with me. "Turn it on, see for youself." He sounded. . . . Upset. Okay, this was starting to worry me, so I turned on the news. They said something about murderers and hijackers on a plane trying to escape to Tokyo, but I didn't see what it mattered to me. "Shuuichi, wasn't that Tohma's plane?"

**Owari (The End)**

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**Author's Notes: The reason I called this chapter "Deja Vu. . . . ?" is because of the way it ends with Tohma in the plane crash and his wife dying in one. Also the way Yuki imagined the outcome with Shuuichi and hoped for it but it didn't happen that way. So in his new book, he changed the ending. Just in case you were wondering. How many of you remember me mentioning that book he didn't want Shuuichi to find out about in the first or second chapter? hehe. I thought of letting the story end with all of you guys wondering and asking questions. Yep, it leaves you hanging, don't you just love stories like that? Well, some of you inspired me to make Tohma propose to Shuuichi so I did that to satisfy you guys a little bit. Some of you also left ideas like, What would happen if Shuuichi got hurt again? If he was robbed, beat up, etc etc? This is where the ending of this story came in. I decided to end it like this to tease my fans. But don't worry, I'm planning on writing a sequal to answer your questions and to use your idea in it. You guys are very inspiring, thankyou all. Please read my sequal. It will be posted soon!**


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